How to stop thinking you've accomplished nothing when everyone around you seems successful
Someone your age already has their own apartment. Someone manages a team. Someone has started a business or posts travel photos every day.
And you look at this and think: "What did I do?"
It's so easy to start seeing your life as a to-do list, especially when it seems like everyone around you is moving forward and you're standing still.
You see someone else's results, but you don't see the entire journey to them. You don't see the rejections, the failed interviews, the financial struggles, the doubts, the exhaustion, or the circumstances that made her/his journey easier or more difficult.
You may move slower – and that’s okay.
People do not have the same starting point. Some people receive financial support from their family. Some people can afford not to work while studying. Some people find it easier to find a job through a recommendation, while others spend a significant amount of their energy just trying to stay afloat.
Therefore, comparing only the results is unfair.
Especially when it comes to career.
Here, your capabilities are influenced not only by your abilities, motivation, and the amount of effort you put in.
At the same time, you should not explain all professional difficulties solely by external circumstances.
Sometimes people really don't talk about their ambitions. They expect their manager to guess about their desire for a promotion. They don't show the results of their work because they think that good work will be noticed anyway.
Or we belittle our own achievements:
"But I didn't do anything special."
"I just got lucky."
"Anyone could have done it."
"I'm not ready yet."
As a result, a person can remain at the same level for years, not because they lack potential, but because they themselves do not show that they are ready for the next step.
Therefore, it is important to separate two things.
There are barriers that you can change, and there are those for which you are not responsible.
If you lack certain skills, you can develop them.
If you need more experience, you can gain it gradually.
However, if you don't get promoted because of your gender, age, or some other bias, the problem isn't that you didn't try hard enough.
"Glass ceiling": when it's not just about your abilities
The "glass ceiling" is an invisible barrier that prevents a woman from moving up the career ladder, even if there are no formal reasons for this.
For example, you can do your job well for years, but not get a promotion, and when you ask your manager what exactly needs to be done to get to the next professional level, all you hear in response is: "It's not time yet".
And no one can clearly explain when that time will come.
Or maybe there are almost no women in management positions in the company. Interesting projects and professional opportunities are regularly given only to men. Your ideas are ignored, but the same suggestions from a male colleague are suddenly perceived as a great initiative.
This is no longer a question of you needing to “try a little harder,” because it is primarily about gender stereotypes and discrimination in corporate culture. And that is important to notice.
If you have been a victim of domestic violence or gender discrimination, please contact the National Hotline for Prevention of Domestic Violence, Human Trafficking and Gender Discrimination for advice and assistance:
📱116 123
☎ 0 800 500 335
This article was made possible by the support of the Norwegian people through the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Norway (MFA of Norway) within the framework of the project “Building a Gender-Inclusive Recovery with the Women’s Movement of Ukraine” (GEN-Recovery). Responsibility for the content of the information lies with the NGO “La Strada-Ukraine”. The information presented in this article does not necessarily reflect the views of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Norway or the Government of Norway.
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