Being an imperfect mother is normal: 6 myths about motherhood that are time to leave in the past

Motherhood is still surrounded by dozens of stereotypes — all of which create the image of the “ideal mother,” But the reality is different. And the sooner we stop demanding unattainable "idealities" from women, the healthier society's attitude towards motherhood will become.

Myth 1: “The perfect mother never gets tired”

There is still an expectation in society that a mother should be patient 24/7, wake up in the middle of the night without exhaustion, and always be available. 

It's actually normal to be tired. Caring for a baby takes a huge amount of physical and emotional energy. Mom also needs sleep, rest, time to herself, and support.

Myth 2: “Mom should know everything and do everything herself”

Women are often given full responsibility for the child and household.

Raising a child is the responsibility of both parents, not just the mother. The idea that a woman has to “do it all by herself” is exhausting and creates a constant sense of guilt.

Myth 3: "After having a child, career and personal interests are not important"

Mothers are often expected to completely give up their desires, hobbies, or professional ambitions after having a child.

However, women have the right to develop, work, study, rest, and do what brings them pleasure.

Because taking care of yourself is not selfish. On the contrary, it is important for a child to see an adult around them who lives not only with responsibilities, but also with their own life.

Myth 4: “A mother always knows what is best for her child”

"You have a maternal instinct" is a phrase that often makes women feel ashamed of their doubts or mistakes.

In reality, motherhood is learned. No one is born with ready-made answers to all questions.

It's okay to make mistakes, worry, or not know something. It doesn't make a woman any less of a good mother.

Myth 5: “Motherhood is pure happiness”

Motherhood is often romanticized as if it consists only of “the happiest moments.” But the reality is much more complicated.

Along with love, fatigue, anxiety, irritation, fear, or despair can come. And these are also normal emotions.

It's important to talk about different aspects of motherhood without judgment.

Myth 6: “Mom has to sacrifice everything”

Society often imposes the idea that a "good mother" must constantly sacrifice herself for the sake of her child.

Moms are living people with their own emotions, needs, fatigue, dreams, and the right to be imperfect.

And perhaps the most important thing we can do for moms today is to stop demanding the impossible from them.

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This article was made possible by the support of the Norwegian people through the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Norway (MFA of Norway) within the framework of the project “Building a Gender-Inclusive Recovery with the Women’s Movement of Ukraine” (GEN-Recovery). Responsibility for the content of the information lies with the NGO “La Strada-Ukraine”. The information presented in this article does not necessarily reflect the views of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Norway or the Government of Norway.